Wednesday, 3 November 2010

Every moment as an opportunity for awakening

“We are like dogs chasing their own tails, the only difference is, dogs have more fun.”
Michael Brown (Presence Process author)

I’d like to share some truths that God has helped to realize. I was reading “To Be Victorious” by Paramahansa Yogananda recently, in which he said each desire is followed by the Siamese twins of false happiness and sorrow. Sorrow arises whenever we are denied anything we desire - whether it’s a desire for good health, a particular house/home, new clothes, a partner, (etc). False happiness arises temporarily whenever a desire is fulfilled. I read this during a day in which I was experiencing my desires being frustrated.

I woke up during the early hours of the morning, somewhere around 3am, 4am, with this immense feeling of energy in my solar plexus. It felt like something was being pulled out of me, it was a sense of being purged. After this moment had passed, I saw that I am like the dog chasing its tail, except I am not having as much fun. I saw this infinite string of desires running back into my personal history. I found infinite instances of false happiness soon after the fulfillment of a desire, infinite instances of sorrow when my desire was not fulfilled.

God showed me that not a single one of my fulfilled desires has ever brought me lasting happiness. I can’t remember even a fraction of the numerous desires I’ve experienced! Yet the body-mind unconsciously pursues its unending series of desires.

I feel as though every moment is an opportunity for awakening on some level, particularly those moments in which we suffer. If you make a practices of turning to your suffering and feeling it, willingly suffering, or if you can’t willingly suffer, willingly experience your unwillingness to suffer and your suffering intermingled, something good often happens.

My desire now increasingly becomes for non-duality, for God, for the end of desires, and my prayers are to this effect every time I experience frustrated desire. I don’t really know what those concepts mean and I can’t say what this ‘desire to end desires’ leads to, but certainly I am feeling more peaceful today than I did yesterday!

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